Well, I went to the Vans Warped Tour this year, in my hometown of Chicago (it was actually in the suburbs an hour away but so what). I was reading the July 21 Daily Grinds on their web page, which is supposed to be like a commentary on what happened that day and all, so the people who didn't go could hear what went on, and for the attenders to have something to look back on (or at least that's what i thought).

If you check the page out, you'll find very little interesting information about the day, and probably will wish you hadn't bothered. This pissed me off. I wrote the webmaster of the page about it, and here was his response:

I think the public deserves to hear about what really happened that day. Nobody who makes any difference in booking tours will see this (i hope), and those who missed the show and lots of other people would be interested i'm sure. But since I'm no journalist or anything, I'm just going to write about how my day was, and how i experienced it, instead of giving some lame commentary on the overall events.

This is pretty long, but so what.. you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The concert took place at the New World Music Center in Tinley Park, IL. It's basically a big stage with lots of seats outside, but like under a canopy thing so it's covered. There's a huge lawn and plenty of space for an outside festival. Unfortunately, Chicago was hit hard with storms (you may have heard about all the flooding lately), and it rained from late morning on into the mid afternoon, and rained COLD. So after paying six bux for parking, and walking in a heavy drizzle to the front gate, we did the general pat down search where we were informed that no chains or studded bracelets, necklaces, etc. were allowed in (this may seem odd if you've never been to a big show, but it turns out well since there could be a lot of problems if your chains get tugged or something, and they COULD be used as weapons). So some of my friends went back to my car to put their stuff away, and some of them were just dumb and tossed them in the garbage (a couple pulled their shirts over them and got in).

The whole beginning of the show pretty much sucked. Since the bands couldn't play in the rain, they put the stage under the canopy where all the seats were (an immidiate letdown, leaving us thinking we would have to sit through our favorite bands like we're in kindergarden). We were already soaked, and the wind seemed a lot colder blowing through than it did when we were out in the open, so we all freezed for a few hours. We spent the time checking out the couple of lame booths and finding all the people we hung out with (there were about 30-40 of us altogether, scattered around). I had another miserable letdown when i turned my head and saw the biggest poseur wannabe pussy, Joe Kletz, standing about 20 ft. away, waiting for me to see him so he could flick me off. What a tuff guy, huh? I used to be friends with this guy but he got into punk a little before me and has that damn elitist attitude i hate so much, so of course i have nothing to do with him whenever possible. A couple gutterpunks i know saw the kid and offered to take my back if he started up anything. I was looking forward to that...

So anyway we sat around for another couple hours, complaining about how much the whole thing sucked, how it was cold, etc. Most of my friends went to find seats closer to the stage while a Jenni, Bob, and I went to see if there was anything else worth checking out. There wasn't. So we came back, and Guttermouth was just starting to play, so we went down to get closer to the stage. The security guards only let us go so far since our new tickets that they gave us were in row W, but we just waited for their dumbasses to look the other way then we got right up to the 4th or 5th row, in the aisle. A lot of people were standing there, and in front of the seats in the 10 foot space between the first row and the barricade, so we just kinda hung there and watched them play.

During the second half of their set, the singer (who's knee was all messed up so he couldn't jump around much) got in a big garbage fight with the audience. While the band played we all just threw magazines and wrappers and stuff at him, and he threw them back.. nothing to get excited about, but better than just standing around (since there was no room to mosh and anyone who tried got kicked out).

Face to Face came up next, and from where i was i could hardly see them (there were two stages set up on the left and right parts of the big stage, and they came up on the far side away from me). But all of a sudden everyone just started moshing in the little tight spaces in the seats, and in the aisles... The security all had sticks up their butts, so they were kicking out people who were really going nuts, including my friend Bob. But of course that didn't stop anyone really, but the pits were pretty tame during that set because nobody wanted to get kicked out yet. At the end of their set, a couple kids next to me noticed that a seat had started to break, so the three of us ripped it out completely, and laughed about it for a minute, then sent it crowdsurfing. These were like really durable plastic seats with big heavy metal sides/legs bolted to the concrete grownd. That really pissed off security, and they grabbed the seat, but it was still funny.

Then some guy gets up on stage, and said something like this: "I'm from the Warped Tour and I know how bummed you guys are about this, we're really sorry we had to do this inside, but there wasn't much of a choice. We're working on getting the half pipe set up behind the stage so we can still have some skating. But lets take time right now and kinda clean this place up, especially if there are any seats that broke, send them up so nobody gets hurt on them. We wanna have a good time but we don't want anyone to be injured or anything." So we sent the rest of the seat we broke up, and saw a couple seats go forward in other spots.

Alcoholics came on stage then, and they're like this 5 man hip hop group. Most of the place started booing when they started their lame performance, and throwing garbage at them and everything. They got all upset and started bitching about that, and i was just thinking "didn't they notice we were doing it to Guttermouth too, and it was just a good time? these guys should lighten up if they want to do hip hop at a punk festival, they have to expect some punk stuff to happen." So i got pissed off and pulled out a glue bottle i had picked up earlier (my joke-nickname is Glue, for no reason at all), opened it up, smeared glue all over it, and with a precise aim and a lot of luck, hit one of the rapping faggets right in the back and left the bottle stuck to his sweater for a second. That's when one of the security guards threatened to "kick my ass and make me look stupid if i looked the wrong way" and i just said alright and slipped off into the crowd so i could go back to throwing stuff. Then they pulled out forties of Miller and shook them up and spilled them all over everybody, and me being straightedge while everybody cheered i just held up my arms in an X and flicked them off with both hands, and noticed others doing the same (i'm sure they had no idea what that meant though). Then they had a guzzling contest, and some dude drank a fortie down without stopping.. I thought it was dumb but they stopped their "music" while they did it so it was the best part of thir performance.

Finally, we got to some good bands (I like Face to Face, but the show just wasn't that good). NOFX did a completely awesome show. They're known for their banter with the crowd.. four things they said come to mind:
"Those alcoholics are pretty cool guys, but how the hell can they drink Miller?!"
"Hey you're one of those backpack punks, i heard about you guys, can't go anywhere without your backpack right?"
"That dude way up there on the catwalk looks so bored, he's just sitting there like he's watching paint dry. Hey dude up there, yeah you, i've never seen anybody stagedive from that high, come on you can be on a live record, go for it!"
"Hey look at that sign, what does that say? 'NOFX, cum drink with us' What the fuck, they spelled 'come' wrong, like they want us to go back there and drink their spooge.. hey i quit cum drinking a long time ago guys, that's sick."
They played a couple of new tunes, and a little ska melody thing that gave us a chance to skank, and ended with the traditional Buggely Eyes. Oh and if you're wondering, Fat Mike isn't really that fat, just in the face (it's hard to find good pictures of them).

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, by this time there was full scale moshing and crowdsurfing all through the NOFX set, and whole sections of seats were being ripped out by fans to make more room. This was totally awesome.. and the crowdsurfing was so easy because you could just stand on the seat backs and jump on top of everybody, and it was so packed that there was almost no way to fall down. And with so many people I got really high, it freaked me out a couple times but it was fullon kick ass. Then I noticed all the people in the 10th or so row on back for another 30 or 40 rows, all just standing on their seats, not even moving around much or anything, and I realized how sucky it must have been for everybody who couldn't make it up front since the security stopped practically all entry into the front area once the seats started getting ripped out.

Rocket from the Crypt was next, and I never listened to them, and I was sweating my balls off after NOFX so I went out to get something to drink (thank God I had dried off and warmed up). While I was out there I heard Peaceful Day being played, so I ran in because that was Pennywise starting their set and there was no way I was going to miss that. It took me about five minutes to get past the security, and i had to climb over a lot of heads to get back into the pit, but i did pretty easily. They did a cover of Stand By Me, and one of the audience members came up to sing it but he sucked so they made him stop but let him stagedive (even though the security guards were obviously telling them not to let him do it), and they did a good job of that. But even better was their cover of You gotta Fight for your right to Party which was the best i've ever heard it done, and it fit the mood since through the whole set Fletcher was ripping on all the people at the Music Center and everything, and going balls out nuts on hom much they sucked for making them play inside, and how they wanted 43% of all the profits on the merchandise they sold (which led the bands to boycott selling any stuff at all), and encouraging us to rip the hell out of the place and destroy as much as we could. So I guess that's why he was kicked out. But nonetheless the show was awesome.

Goldfinger came out after that, stating "I don't want to have to follow Pennywise, we're not that good!" But although they weren't quite as rowdy, they still put on a hell of a show, with some new ska tunes once again giving us a bit of a chance to skank around. The drummer did a Pamela Anderson impression by pulling down his pants and waving his dick around at us. Near the end of their set, I was crowdsurfing and I felt a tapping on my leg. I looked down and there was Joe (the guy who wanted to start with me earlier) punching me in the chin, and it really didn't hurt at all. So I flicked him off, and gave him a kick in the head before I was carried in the opposite direction. When they let me down I went back over to him, and he was trying to rip one of the seats out with his hands (and doing a really bad job). I kicked him in the ass, and before he could come back at me, one of the red-jacketed security guards (meaning they can beat your ass) hit him and kicked him out. I just laughed and said "have a nice day!"

Fishbone came on after them, and I'm not a fan at all. It was ok, but nothing really interesting happened, except that the singer bodysurfed through half his performance, and he's the second black man i've ever seen with a mohawk (Mr. T being the first). Blue Meanies played last, they're this Chicago punk/skacore band, and I'd never heard them before but they were really good, I'm gonna pick up a disc of theirs next time I see one. Not much to say about their set either, except the bodysurfing was incredible.

After everyone cleared out, we stayed to check out the destruction. The whole first row of seats was completely gone, and I'd estimate 100 to 200 seats were missing from the first 5-10 rows. I grabbed a couple pieces of one of the seats right before we were forced to leave.

Overall, it was the best show i've ever been to, and being inside actually made it a lot more interesting (and as i said, much easier to crowdsurf) for the couple hundred people up front. But i do feel sorry for all the hundreds who had to stand on their seats the whole time way in the back, but who cares, it wasn't me.

If anyone has any interesting stories about this show or any other Warped show I'd love to read them, and if I get a few I might make a little collection online. Try to keep them shorter than mine though. =)