Ok, I’ve gotten some flack already for including girls on the list of thongs that suck. I’ve already explained this a few times, but I guess I should let everyone hear it.

First off, I love girls. Most of my friends are girls. When I say girls I generally mean all members of the female sex. Well, I guess in this context I mean females who are about my age. Certainly little girls and old women don’t suck. Hang on, let me explain.

Girls themselves don’t do anything that sucks (of course many individual girls do many things that suck, the same is true of any classification of people. That’s not what I’m talking about.) I just mean that they seem to suck to me. For me, they suck. It’s not because they are bad. It’s because they are good, and they are different.

You see, I love girls, I love all different kinds of girls for all different kinds of reasons. You’d think this would be a good thing. It kind of is. Except for one thing. They’re different.

Guy brains and girls brains are just wired differently. Face it, its true. That’s the source of the problem. If that difference weren’t there, just think how easy everything would be. Really, think about it. Of course, the attraction would probably disappear as well.

I’m not even blaming anymore (even though it might not sound that way). It’s just a condition that exists between the sexes, and it sucks for me to be all broiled up in it.

It’s as much my fault as it is any girls (in this vague and theoretical way) if either or both of us could change....well that would be great.

Now its starting to seem like one of those "be careful what you wish for things."

So, yeah, the only reason I say that girls suck is because its hard to like them so much but still be up against this barrier of difference. I know that difference is a good thing, but it sure would be easier if everyone were the same.

How ya like that bitches? Jeez, I’m just kidding.

Josh Dahl

Back to Josh's Column Section

main | words | music | art