Hi anyone, I'm Josh and this is my first column here. Later I'll be talking about Comics and Music and people who I knwo, and girls and stuff. But, right now I want you to get on your good side, youknow so that later when I really start to sound like a jerk, you still side with me. I was thining that to do that I should probably either tell you something really sad or really embarasing. Either way, the effect is about the same. I open up to you (the total stranger) and you feel closer to me. I show you a vulnerability and you, as a human being will choose not to exploit it. You might even defend it. You know, somewhere down the line you will be talking to several of your friends who are all big fans of Punks G page, and one of them will say how far up my butt my head must be to write this kind of garbage. Then you'll say that even though I do sometimes come off like a dick-face, that you know that deep down i'm a very decent person.
That's the plan anyway. I can't really think of any one story or thing that i want to share that's really good enough to get you all on my side. Most of my sad stories are a little too personal to share right now, and my embarassing stories just make me look dumb.
Hmmmm, well I guess i could just tell a funny story. then maybe you'd laugh and think it was funny. That's not really such a good idea either though. Most of my funny stories just make me look like a jerk. It reminds me of something funny I once read. It was spray-painted on the back of a thrown away couch which had found its way to the curb when the former PRI House (more on them and various mistruths later) was vacated. It said "Mean people are funny."
It's true. Of course, mean-ness is not inherently funny. Its mean. Its when things are mean and basically harmless that they are funny. Think about the last really funny thing you experienced. I'll bet it was mean. Boy this column has really lost its direction.
Oh, well. I hope by now that my easy, speak-able style, and win-some self assuredness hace won you over for good. If not, you probably just don't like me. But give me another try later, I know you'll like it.
