One saturday morning I had to get up extra early and go take the Basic Skills Test for Teacher Certification. (Oh, the reason there are so many dumb teachers out there is because that test is so easy a chimp could pass it. Not ace it, but pass it.) Anyway, I got up real early and went to McDonalds for breakfast. As I sat enjoying my Sausage McNuthin with Egg and orange juice, I noticed a sign that said "Work mornings." I laughed to myself and thought how cool it would be if it said "Work, mornings, and other things that suck."
So, that's what this column is gonna be. Just a list of things that suck. As I discover more things I'll just add them to the list. If you agree or disagree with any of these things, or have something to add, please let me know. Here we go....
1. Work
2. Mornings
3. On my birthday, I had some bands play at my house. I do this because I like music, and I like it when people enjoy music. I like to be the one who helped everyone have a great time. I charge three bucks at the door and it all goes to the bands. So, on this night, some motherfucker puked in my sink. My bathroom sink, which is about two feet from my toilet. Some waste of life couldn't respect my hospitality enough to turn his worthless ass 180 degrees and puke in the toilet. How fucking low is that? Then some othe pieces of shit decided to break a small metal sign I had in my driveway. This wasn't the kind of sign that you could break accidentally, it obviously took some effort. What the fuck!? "Hey, let's break this thing." "Ok". Fucking idiots. I don't know why they just didn't pick the rest of it up and smash it through the windshield of my roommate's car. What's the difference? Asshole pieces of shit. What the fuck is wrong with someone who would go to someone else's house, who is obviously doing something cool for them, and then purposely break stuff? Worthless, sub-human garbage.
4. Girls
That's all for now.
